Nightstar.Net Quotes


#81 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<&ToxicFrog> Ok, Descent Vignettes is a cool level pack of ultra-tiny Descent levels
<&ToxicFrog> But it's also really difficult when you have a toddler acting as your gunner and a cat navigating
<&Loweko> where might such a thing be acquired?
<&Myst> Well when a man and a woman love each other very much ...


#80 (+|-) (Rated: 16)
<&Derakon> Oh, Reiv -- remember how my windows were filthy when we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge?
<&Derakon> It belatedly occurred to me that I could explain that's because my dog usually rides in the back seat~
<&Derakon> So, sorry about the bad view. That was dog snot.


#79 (+|-) (Rated: 8)
<&gnolam> Bah. The moon, Venus and Mars in an eldritch constellation and I got home too late to photograph it.
<&Half> Gnolam, are you saying The Stars Are Right?
-!- Vornicus [Vorn@ServerAdministrator.Nightstar.Net] has joined #fleet
-!- mode/#fleet [+ao Vornicus Vornicus] by ChanServ
<&Half> *falls over laughing!*
<&McMartin> Morning, Vorn. Vorning.
<&McMartin> Your arising is well-timed
<&Half> AND I DIDN'T EVEN SAY IA IA VORNICUS FTHANGI!


#78 (+|-) (Rated: -5)
<Syloq> do what I want, you stupid bot!
<Bawt> shut up you clit
<Tora-Chan> lol
<Half> ....
<Syloq> whoa
<Syloq> that was...wow
* Half is gonna get knocked flat for laughing.


#77 (+|-) (Rated: -7)
<abudhabi> How do I set up a Java servlet that uses HTTPS?
<TheWatcher> Assuming you already have tomcat cet up with the appropriate certificates, and it's listening on 443, add a security-constraint element to the web.xml under the WEB-INF
<TheWatcher> Sacrificing a black goat on an altar dedicated to Yog-Sothoth may help, too.


#76 (+|-) (Rated: -14)
* TheWatcher finally remembers to set his .aspell.conf on this machine
<@TheWatcher> Damned lack of 'u's and nefarious use of 'z's....
<&McMartin> Nefarious Zed and the You Thieves is my new bluegrass punk band that remixes English folk tunes.


#75 (+|-) (Rated: -23)
* Bob_work hides behind PID
* PID1|work eyes Bob_work what did you do back there?
< Bob_work> nothing...nothing...just had to rifle through your wallet so I could pay my taxes.
< PID1|work> What makes you think there's anything in my wallet I'm married with a kid
< Bob_work> Because you have 2 kids less than I do!
< PID1|work> That only means I have more hair left


#74 (+|-) (Rated: -29)
<TeckTygr> So I heard that the hackers "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda...
<TeckTygr> Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!


#73 (+|-) (Rated: -38)
<TeckTygr> a 7.62 NATO round can solve most problems...a 50cal can solve all
<VirusJTG> a 50 cal will solve 99.98%
<VirusJTG> a thermo nuke solves 100% of problems
<Gashach_i> i thought beer was the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems
<VirusJTG> no beer is the coping mechanisum of all of life's problems
<Splunge> does a thermo nuke solve the problem of massive devastation?
<Gashach_i> yup
<Gashach_i> it eliminates the people who worry aabout it
<Splunge> sort of a 'tree falling in the woods' solution?
<Gashach_i> what tree?
<Splunge> That tree. The one that's callen over
<Splunge> fallen*
<Gashach_i> looks like a toothpick now


#72 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
<Bawt> ugh, i had a horrible dream about a hundred urine covered leeches and a beaten, venom covered nazi dancing with each other
<Syloq> Bawt, I know I've said it before, but really. No more Chili after 9pm.


#71 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
* gnolam ...s.
<gnolam> Man, the NES leaves deep scars.
<gnolam> My computer wouldn't recognize a USB stick. I instinctively took it out, blew on it and reinserted it before realizing what I had just done.
<TheWatcher> Heheh
<TheWatcher> The obvious question: did it work?~
<gnolam> It did, in fact. :o


#70 (+|-) (Rated: -72)
<Bawt> Captain's log, Stardate 46547: the reprogrammed biofilter was effective in removing the alien microbes from Emmy.
<Emmy> Hah! no more pandemic!
<gnolam> Getting alien STDs, are we?
<Pandemic> Nope.  I'm doing rather well, thank you
* Pandemic reinfects Emmy
* Pandemic blows up Bawt and his biofilter
* Bawt blows Pandemic
<Pandemic> no thanks Bawt, you are not my type
<Emmy> well, you blew him first
<Emmy> so that's rather hgypocrite
<Emmy> *hypocrite
<gnolam> *hypochlorite
<Pandemic> I blew him UP first


#69 (+|-) (Rated: -37)
--> Fylgia has joined #Nightstar_Bar
<-- Fylgia has left #Nightstar_Bar
<Poisyn> oi silly mirc
<Poisyn> warp
-*- Poisyn thwaps the game control
<gnolam> [mel. "O Holy Night"]
<gnolam> Oi silly mIRC, it's difficult to lurk
<gnolam> In channels when you are sending in clones
<gnolam> So, silly mIRC, it is thus with a smirk
<gnolam> I uninstall you despite your moans
<gnolam> I shall find myself another client
<gnolam> I'll click that "uninstall" button defiant
<gnolam> Oi, silly mIRC! O Khaled your creator!
<gnolam> Oi silly mIRC, it's time to be replaced
<gnolam> Oi silly mIRC, your final time has come!
-*- Poisyn laughs softly
-*- gnolam bows.


#68 (+|-) (Rated: -57)
Bob_work> If they know cars, then they MUST drive. Logic dictates it.
<TheWatcher> Or they may take the train to work. Stranger things have happened (that horse becoming Pope, for example)
<Bob_work> Actually, the horse becoming pope just makes plenty of sense to me.
<Bob_work> Horses are rarely dressed appropriately, so they've exposed themselves to children just as often as any other priest / bishop / pope.
<Pandemic> Wrong species, a donkey would make better sense
<TheWatcher> Indeed.
<Bob_work> 'This ass is exposing itself to children!" "Make it pope."  "Fuck.
<Bob_work> Spanish countries are very catholic. They also have donkey shows
<Bob_work> It's all making sense to me know.


#67 (+|-) (Rated: -26)
* Bob_work realizes he's on slide 40 and sighs
< TheWatcher> Any presentation over 10 slides has too many >.>
< TheWatcher> Note: I might be counting in binary!


#66 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
<Bawt> If it wasn't for herpes, I wouldn't have any appointments.
<Syloq> Bawt, How did you get herpes?
<Bawt> Teamwork.
<Syloq> Thats usually how that happens.


#65 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<kyo> im back
<Bawt> YOU'RE back? feel these nipples!
<kyo> i had to go to lunch
<kyo> no


#64 (+|-) (Rated: -74)
<Bawt> oh really well what do you think, talking knee?
<Syloq> bawt, are you drunk?
<Bawt> yeah want a go? :)
<Syloq> bawt, I will not have sex with you.
<Syloq> bawt, no comment?
<Bawt> we get signalpoit!
<Syloq> bawt, where do you get it?
<Bawt> at Ogredude's house
<Syloq> bawt, have you been having sex with Ogredude?
<Bawt> Hell yeah.


#63 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<Bawt> *yawn*
<Emmy> how dare you yawn at me
* Emmy sticks a sock in Bawt's open maw
<Bawt> stop making me horny
<Emmy> ...


#62 (+|-) (Rated: -77)
* duckwife (TSA.GOV@Nightstar-fe87eed6.dynamic.tds.net) has joined #Nightstar_Bar
<duckwife> I'm drunk
<duckwife> I don't think this is a very good place to get drunk!
<duckwife> No one here is home or drunk
<duckwife> You all suck
* Emmy isn't home, isn't drunk, but wishes to be both?
<duckwife> I'm downloading swap.avi
<duckwife> scat goes good with beer
<Emmy> ...ehh
<duckwife> I like watching women puke up shit into eachothers mouths after eating each others ass
<Emmy> personally i prefer more 'conventional' porn with my beer, thank you >.>
<duckwife> Well you're a dummy
<duckwife> Best porn is the freaky stuff
* duckwife has quit ([NS] Quit: Look at me shaking my jar jars)


#61 (+|-) (Rated: -41)
<gnolam> Bawt, does a dog have Buddha nature or not?
<Bawt> *flips a coin*
<Bawt> gnolam: not
<gnolam> I see.
<gnolam> Bawt, what is the sound of one hand clapping?
<Bawt> a processor
<gnolam> Bawt, what is the Dharma that has never been preached to the people?
<Bawt> Rainbows.
<gnolam> Thank you, oh wise one.
<gnolam> Bawt, in the Three Worlds, there is not one thing. Where should one seek the mind?
<Bawt> fuck your riddles, you gigantic mystic arsehole!
<gnolam> Ha ha ha
<gnolam> I think Bawt just won at Zen.


#60 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
* Emmy takes bawt, scalps it and uses the skeleton to bash Syloq in the skull.
<Bawt> Praise be to you.


#59 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<Syloq> in 2000 you were just a wee lass
<PinkFreud> ... lass?
<Syloq> yes
<Syloq> your sex change?
<Syloq> you already forgot about that?!?
<PinkFreud> No, I've had this penis since before I was born, thank you.
<Syloq> that's what "they" want you to think


#58 (+|-) (Rated: -85)
<Bawt> i had a nice dream about a visible, chocolate body paint covered sheep and a baby sexily hugging each other on a lounge of brimstone
<Syloq> Bawt, Were you eating chili before bed again?
<Bawt> i might


#57 (+|-) (Rated: -73)
<Tora-Chan> Bawt, are you sterile? ;p
<Bawt> yeah want a go? :)


#56 (+|-) (Rated: -72)
<Birdboy> Did you guys hear about the guy who murdered a door to door salesman in Florida?
<RichyB> No.
<TheWatcher> Police didn't take too long to solve it; they said it was an open and shut case.


#55 (+|-) (Rated: -116)
<HappyCrappy> ok, I just got called by osha- unless I install a handrail or safety harnesses, only one of you gets to ride my ass at a time..


#54 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Bawt> basically, Life is goooood!
<Bawt> This is fun!
<Bawt> My anus is bleeding
<Bawt> MY ANUS IS BLEEDING
<Syloq> Bawt, do you have something you should share with us?
<Bawt> aye
<Syloq> bawt, and what is it?
<Bawt> A calculated risk.
* Syloq hangs head and walks away


#53 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<Noah> Saw something about quantum calculation and atomic massaging last night
<RichyB> The valence electrons get so tense and angry, it's good to calm them down.


#52 (+|-) (Rated: -84)
<Kizor> FFS, Action Philosophers, the first-to-fifth Roman deity Mithras was born from a rock. Way to overstate Joseph Campbell's case.
<Kizor> And shares a feast day with Christianity because Christianity very visibly and vocally parked over it.
<wraith> ?
<wraith> As they -do-.
* gnolam is now known as Mithras
<Mithras> Was I born from a rock... or was I born /to/ rock?
<Mithras> *GUITAR SOLO*
* Mithras is now known as gnolam
<Kizor> You know, that's a really good point.
<Half> .....
<Kizor> Everyone talks about killing Hitler or giving AK-47s to the CSA, but I think history has missed a golden opportunity that we should rectify by giving guitars to the Romans.


#51 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<gnolam> ... DAMN YOU, GERMANY
<gnolam> They're selling really cheap banjos. I don't know if I have the willpower to resist buying one.
<Mahmoth> Buy many banjos, stockpile them until there's a shortage, profit.
<gnolam> Put our currency on the banjo standard!
<Mahmoth> Historically, banjos have been an excellent means of exchange and are much less easy to falsify than the pitiful fiat currency we use at present.
<McMartin> In uncertain economic times, banjos are the only reliable store of value
<Vornicus> what the
<Mahmoth> Vorn!  Would you like to convert your worthless lesser musical instruments to banjos for a Small Fee?
<Vornicus> ...but I've already got a banjo.
<McMartin> Only one


#50 (+|-) (Rated: -79)
<Loweko> English needs a word for "I am happy for your general circumstances but concerned for your specific ones".
<Loweko> Or to be more precise, "I am glad [unfortunately unemployed old friend] has found a job, but somewhat alarmed to learn it is 100%-commission door-to-door sales."
<Half> Can we borrow it from German?
<Half> They probably already have one.
<Loweko> Do they have one?
<Half> Loweko: Well, they have "schadenfreude" so probably?
<Loweko> I always imagine some crack team of German word-smiths, immediately setting to work forging a new and mighty phoneme mix every time a new concept is brought to them.
<Mahal> :D
<Quasispace> They work deep within the mountains. And only respond to carrier pigeon
<Loweko> There's a hotline from Berlin.
<Loweko> *phone rings*
<Loweko> "What's that? The feeling of suddenly discovering an unexpected flock of mountain goats in one's garage? HANS, PREPARE THE WELDING TORCHES!"


#49 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<PinkFreud> does 'man grep' bring up a man page for sed?  :P
<PinkFreud> if so, you have bigger problems to worry about
<Syloq> well yes, but my system is lame
<Syloq> I call it "Linux Roulette"
<PinkFreud> hahahah
<Syloq> who knows what's actually mapped for "rm"


#48 (+|-) (Rated: -51)
<tali> A bunny can neither be more than a bunny nor less than a bunny.
<Pandemic> wanna bet?
<Pandemic> what if it is a stew?
<Pandemic> still a bunny, and also a stew
<tali> Buuut... Bunny Buddhism!
<Pandemic> in my bowl


#47 (+|-) (Rated: -75)
-*- Loweko is back from hospital! His reaction to the painkillers appears to be mania, but has been advised this will not last the week. Also. abdomen held together largely with tape.
<SouthernMyst> Yikes, welcome back!
<SouthernMyst> Whatever happened?
<TheWatcher> Egads, I hope you recover soon. :/
<froztbyte> well enough to IRC? well enough for life!
<froztbyte> and yeah, ouch! whatchado, Loweko?
<Mahmoth> This sounds like an Exciting Adventure in Pain.
<Loweko> My appendix decided it wanted a new career as a medical specimen.
<TheWatcher> :( Wee bugger.
<Mahmoth> Ow.
<froztbyte> ah yes, that'd do it
<TheWatcher> Hopefully they got it out of you sharpish, though.
<Loweko> Oh yes.
<Loweko> Only real highlights are (a) the potential disruption this does to my accepting a very tasty job offer, which is a pain and a half and (b) surviving a night on a surgery ward with a man whose snores sounded /exactly/ like the soundeffects for surface ships breaking up in Das Boot.
<Loweko> I told myself not to mock him or hate him, as I could not see his bed and he might have had a serious respiratory problem.
<Loweko> Then the punchline came at dawn, when the nurses woke him up. He squealed and clung to one (revealing himself to be a small, overweight, elderly Pakistani man with no visible symptoms) and said he'd had bad dreams.
<TheWatcher> ...
<Loweko> "Yes" I said to the ceiling. "You were torpedoed off Jutland and set alight."


#46 (+|-) (Rated: -101)
* Tora-Chan gives Bawt a dictionary
<Bawt> do not want
* Tora-Chan gives Bawt a dictionary to the head, then
* Bawt jams it up his arse
<Bawt> that's what i think of that.


#45 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<simple> gah, my brother just changed his wedding date
<simple> i wonder how much it's going to cost to change flights now
<TriviaEmp> does his gf know ?
<simple> yeah, she knows.. it's her dad that can't make it on the date.. his work won't give him June 31st off
<Syloq> Uh?
<Syloq> when did june have 31 days?
<simple> err
<Syloq> Is this something new that I don't know about?
<simple> the 30th then
<Syloq> Well maybe he asked for a day off that doesn't exist.
<Syloq> He should ask again.


#44 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
<Bobsentme> 3 kids and 2 laptops does not a happy household make.
<Grunyan> You should get them to try the new stunning video game called "Outside"
<Splunge> the graphics are pretty good in that game. Awesome antialiasing, I have yet to see any pixelation
<TaliPhoenix> Grunyan, I love the graphics on that game, so realistic
<Splunge> level design can be a bit bland in places, though, and daily quests get repetitive and boring
<TaliPhoenix> shame as far as MMORPG's go, the other players are usually arrogant twats
<TaliPhoenix> playing the game like its real life or something
*from #tsc*


#43 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
Bob_work> You've got to understand the law of diminishing returns before you go sacrificing babies all "Willie-nillie" and dear lord i can't believe I actually had to type that line


#42 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
<Bawt> r which of you fat bastards did this to my camel!?
<Tora-Chan> you have a camel, Bawt?
<Bawt> that depends. Who's asking?
<Tora-Chan>


#41 (+|-) (Rated: -69)
<JustBob> Speaking of which, is there a version of Godwin's Law that applies to terms like socialist-liberal?
<JimStarluck> If there isn't, there should be.
<Half> We could make one and call it Bob's Law.
<Half> It would serve a useful purpose.
<Slave> Gandhi's Law? Soap-dodging Pinko Leftist Bleeding-Hearted Commie's Law?
<gnolam> Fox's Law.
<Half> Hey, I'm a Pinko Leftist Bleeding Heart Commie but I'm hardly soap-dodging.
<Slave> Depending what you launch the soap with, at high velocities it's almost impossible to dodge.
<Half> How about one of those trebutchets that'll launch a 58 Buick?
<Slave> Maybe a scoped soap crossbow. At least then you know you'll always get a clean shot.
<Half> ARGH.
-*- Half takes 1d4 Bad Pun Damage
<TheDagda> Ah, SLAVE
-*- Tora-Chan[ow] sniggers
<TheDagda> I see the assassins have failed.
<Slave> Indeed, I live again. And have my bar of soap.
<Slave> It seems the lye is a cake.
<TheDagda> Indeed
-*- JustBob sighs. Administers ritual tasings upon Slave, on principle.
<TheDagda> I should have known you'd be difficult to...scrub out
<Slave> I'm never one to rest on my laureths.
-*- gnolam snickers.
<Slave> Of course, firing soap at groin level is a good way to deter gents.
<Tora-Chan[ow]> pff
<Half> Do I have to keep rolling for Bad Pun Damage?
<TheDagda> yes
<Tora-Chan[ow]> yes, and yes
<Slave> (Although the damage is purely cosmetic)
<Tora-Chan[ow]> no, the damage goes right to your SAN
<gnolam> It's a slippery slope, making puns like that.
<Tora-Chan[ow]> it may be unSANitary
<Slave> I'd like to just wash my hands of the whole business and start fresh.
<JustBob> I'd support a clean start for you, Slave, but no amount of washing can get rid of that pun-stench.
<-- Slave has quit ([NS] Quit: Nightstar's Java Chat http://www.nightstar.net)
<Loweko> There goes a uniquely deranged mind.
<Loweko> He missed his vocation. He'd have been such a perfect 20s East End music hall artiste.


#40 (+|-) (Rated: -86)
<RalphP2|Home> You realize with networking, there's four ways to do it.  The Right Way, the Wrong Way, the Microsoft Way, and the Cisco Way.
<RalphP2|Home> And they're usually each different  ;)


#39 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
<Bawt> my knees feel lovely ^_^
<Tora-Chan[ow]> Bawt, want me to cap you in the knees, then?
<Bawt> no, but it does make me horny
<Tora-Chan[ow]> ...-how-?


#38 (+|-) (Rated: -87)
<Derakon> Would it be a problem to have a cutting board that's held off the countertop by two runners?
<McMartin> Derakon: That sounds like my drying rack
<McMartin> I'm kind of used to my tools having short legs, and a pair of runners can be to legs what treads are to wheels, right?
<McMartin> Am I visualizing this right?
<Derakon> Yeah.
* gnolam 's brain shuts down at the first visualization of McMartin's drying rack.
<Derakon> The Luggage?
<McMartin> gnolam: A "drying rack" is a grid of metal one hangs dishes on so that they may finish drying via evaporation.
<McMartin> It is not a pair of wet tits getting cold in the winter air.
<VV>
<McMartin> I guess it's more 'balances dishes within', not 'hangs dishes on'
<gnolam> McMartin: guess which one my treacherous, overly-visual brain imagined :P
<McMartin> That was really for highlighting your depravity for the rest of the channel, which was clearly going down a different, sillier path.
<gnolam> So... yees, still imagining McMartin with breasts glistening in the morning dew.
<VV>


#37 (+|-) (Rated: -113)
<Patrick`> see, my sphincter instinctively contracted, but because it was just above the knuckle, my thumb was drawn further in and the nail carried on scratching. The embarrassing part was when my mother heard my screaming and burst it
<Patrick`> *burst in
<Patrick`> er, ww
<Patrick`> I'll just ...
* Patrick` has quit IRC (Quit: leaving)
<MyCatOwnz> What the HELL channels was HE on?
<Attilla> I do not want to know.
<CaptDenubis> ::blinks::
<Shard> heh
* yarf tries to remove that image from her mind.
<yarf> my...poor....well not innocent, but now thoroughly tainted....mind....


#36 (+|-) (Rated: -86)
<Lol-HaHa> Why is Syloq sooo weird?
<Syloq> I'm Allegedly weird.


#35 (+|-) (Rated: -78)
<McMartin> BLISTRA, THE DARK GODDESS OF CONSUMER PACKAGING, DEMANDS BLOOD SACRIFICE


#34 (+|-) (Rated: -89)
<Patrick`> see, my sphincter instinctively contracted, but because it was just above the knuckle, my thumb was drawn further in and the nail carried on scratching. The embarrassing part was when my mother heard my screaming and burst it
<Patrick`> *burst in
<Patrick`> er, ww
<Patrick`> I'll just ...
* Patrick` has quit IRC (Quit: leaving)


#33 (+|-) (Rated: -71)
<Vornicus> what channel?
<Roh> They say what channel can i talk about making sexy time with mrs clinton?
* Vornicus shoots Roh


#32 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
<AuntieTekkie> Oh, joy.  I just got dragged into a meeting where they decreed we will no longer get the Friday after Thanksgiving day off.
<Bob_home> Did you call them Turkeys?
* Pandemic hads tekkie a nuke
<Pandemic> use this
<Pandemic> will solve that problem
<AuntieTekkie> No but I wouldn't be surprised to hear it.
<AuntieTekkie> Virus, do you have any other setting than "extreme?"
<Pandemic> not really no
<Pandemic> I am a known quantity that usually involves the phrase "from orbit".


#31 (+|-) (Rated: -99)
<JustBob> ALso, my right wrist is killing me.
<JustBob> Carpal tunnel for the WIN.
<Syloq> Masturbation will do that.
<JustBob> Broke it three times.  :p
<Syloq> violent masturbation will do that.
<JustBob> You know me, jerking off so hard that I once fractured my penis.
<Syloq> one sec I need to make a post here..


#30 (+|-) (Rated: -84)
<aj> <Azazel> I really wish that there was a room mode to autoboot users that sent more than N messages in T seconds
<aj> http://wiki.inspircd.org/Modules/1.2/messageflood
<Natani> Title: Modules/1.2/messageflood - Inspire IRCd (InspIRCd) (at wiki.inspircd.org)
<Azazel> Oh neat
<aj> Also, http://wiki.inspircd.org/Modules/2.0/messageflood
<Natani> Title: Modules/2.0/messageflood - Inspire IRCd (InspIRCd) (at wiki.inspircd.org)
<Azazel> But are they loaded...
* aj sets mode +f #twokinds 2:60
<aj> Someone try it!
<Lyze> Azazel, waht IRCd is this?
<Sonicadvance1> beh?
* *.Nightstar.Net has kicked Sonicadvance1 from #twokinds (Channel flood triggered (limit is 2 lines in 60 secs))
<Azazel> ...
* *.Nightstar.Net has kicked Azazel from #twokinds (Channel flood triggered (limit is 2 lines in 60 secs))
<aj> Yep, it's loaded
* You have been kicked from #twokinds by *.Nightstar.Net (Channel flood triggered (limit is 2 lines in 60 secs))


#29 (+|-) (Rated: -94)
<gnolam> Oooh, I like the glow of the second-stage nozzle now.
<Kizor> Reminds me of the stove I leaned on as a kid.
<Kizor> What comes after white-hot?
<Hyou-Chan> on the higher or lower temps? ;p
<gnolam> Usually? Screaming and panic.
<Kizor> Two answers, both completely correct and utterly useless. This is a geek channel, all right. :P


#28 (+|-) (Rated: -107)
<Kizor_> ...
<Kizor_> Wait.
<Kizor_> What would a werewolf be like on the moon?


#27 (+|-) (Rated: -129)
<Kizor> Well, the summer job was interesting. New things came up every day. For instance, it turns out that gastrologists tattoo their patients' intestines.
<Kizor> Many organs have an intricate layout (the heart's organic pacemaker is ingenious) but others have a serious lack of landmarks.
<gnolam> Do they tattoo them with "Here be dragons"?
<Kizor> They probably will now.
<Tora-Chan> bwahaha
<Kizor> Apparently surgical outcomes improve if doctors go for a stroll first and mark their way with equivalents of "carcinoma's outer edge @ 10/09/09" or "cut along the dotted line".
<Tora-Chan> "I made a booboo here, please fix it."
<Kizor> "Kilroy was here"
<Tora-Chan> rofl
<Tora-Chan> "I dropped my ring somewhere in here..."
<Kizor> "If you lived here, you'd be home by now."
* Tora-Chan snrks
<Tora-Chan> "When you reach this point, call the proctologist."
<Kizor> "If you can read this, you don't need glasses."
<Tora-Chan> pfft
<Tora-Chan> "MEDIC!"
<Tora-Chan> "555-555-5555 for a good time"
<Kizor> "Help I'm trapped in a..."
<Kizor> ...
<Kizor> "...colonoscope?"
<Tora-Chan> "Anyone got a light?"
<gnolam> "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here"


#26 (+|-) (Rated: -71)
<Moltare> I want to make a band called Colloidal Silver
<Moltare> We'd play the blues.


#25 (+|-) (Rated: -118)
<Emmy> you so ooooold
<Emmy> back in the nineties I was too busty to learn to read and write!
<Emmy> *busy
<Emmy> lol


#24 (+|-) (Rated: -91)
<Syloq> google why does Kilonum suck
<Emissary> http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=18670141
<Syloq> nice
<Syloq> google why does Syloq suck
<Emissary> http://zoo.nightstar.net/
<Syloq> good answer...good answer


#23 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE!  I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake.  :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty?


#22 (+|-) (Rated: -112)
Mango: I still haven't fixed my speakers and I wanted to watch a movie.
Mango: So I set the sound card to record from output,
Mango: used a softphone program to call my VoIP phone,
Mango: and had it play the movie to me over the phone.
Mango: God, I love being a geek :)
PID1: So Mango, you can truthfully say you have a hot actress on the phone just now?


#21 (+|-) (Rated: -99)
<JustBob> It was really, really frustrating.  I wanted to listen to my lady gaga.
<Syloq> well that explains a lot


#20 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
<Frokusblakah> I've always had a thing for funny old guys, and bill fits the
* Frokusblakah puts on his sunglasses
<Frokusblakah> bill


#19 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
* Jeremiah rages against the machine and then paints the anarchy symbol on his porch.
<AttillaBlargh> Be careful. The anarcops are watching.
<AttillaBlargh> And stirring tea.
<Boost> is it green tea? black tea? white tea?
<Boost> flavored?
<Boost> some combination of the above?
<Jeremiah> Duh.
<Jeremiah> It's a special brand of tea just for cops.
<Jeremiah> Police brutali tea.


#18 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
<Kerlyssa> Oh wow.
<Kerlyssa> Quest for Glory is right next to Queer as Folk in the online fanfic dictionary (yes, there is such a thing, apparently)
<Kerlyssa> What fabulous neighbours they must make. But looks like the one I'm looking for isn't there, and I'm at the end of my attention span.
<Vermilion> Would fanfic for Queer Like Folk involve heterosexual relationships?


#17 (+|-) (Rated: -132)
<Namegduf> w
<Namegduf> Er.. sorry, no idea how that happened.
<McMartin> IRC is not an FPS: you don't move around with WASD.
<Tarinaky> That's what I've been doing wrong all these years!
<Tarinaky> I've been stuck in this channel for months!


#16 (+|-) (Rated: -49)
<Vermilion> Hey, TC.  How are things up in Quebec?
<Jeremiah> If at first you don't secede, try again.


#15 (+|-) (Rated: -89)
<McMartin> My labmate's dissertation skeletal draft includes this
<McMartin> "CHAPTER 2: ANALYSIS OF STATIC FIELDS"
<McMartin> "In which our brave warrior notes that meadows tend to remain in place"


#14 (+|-) (Rated: -92)
<McMartin> Small k is 1000, big K is 1024.
<Vornicus> though ISO insists that hte latter is Ki
<Vornicus> Think it's ISO anyway
<McMartin> I prefer that to the horrific KibiBytes
* McMartin gives his RAM gigantic anime eyes and megacephaly
<McMartin> Chibibytes!


#13 (+|-) (Rated: -108)
* Attilla thinks that somehow they should fuse the DNA of Gordon Freeman and Flash Gordon to make Flash Gordon Freeman!
<Attilla> He'll defeat Ming with his crowbar!
<gnolam> And I think Glenn Hysén ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Hys%C3%A9n ) should marry Glenn Close. Then they would both be called Glenn Hysén.
<Attilla> Who's Glenn Close?
<gnolam> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000335/
<Attilla> ....how pointless
<Attilla> You might as well marry your clone under an assumed name just so you can change your surname under no suspicion
<Attilla> Asides from the fact that marrying your clone would make you gay. :p
<gnolam> Hey, that's legal around here. The gay bit. Not the cloning.


#12 (+|-) (Rated: -72)
<Attilla> Yay. Abandoned uranium mine.
<Attilla> Some of it went off the scale (of 500 counts/sec)
<gnohate> Been on a field trip? :)
<Attilla> Yep!
<gnohate> Trying out toys? :)
<Attilla> Maaaybe
<Demonius> i'd say thats only rem-otely interesting
* Attilla throws Demonius down the mineshaft.
<Demonius> ok, it wasnt that good.
<gnohate> But not that bad either. I'd say it's in a Gray area.
<UndeadAnno> >_<
<gnohate> (See! Now /that/ joke was totally rad!)
<UndeadAnno> >_<
<Attilla> Becq! Becq with the terrible puns!


#11 (+|-) (Rated: -96)
<Vornicus> Hm.  Naming question.
<Vornicus> Consider, for instance, Magic the Gathering.  You've got a bunch of cards, and they all have state - they're in play, or in your hand, or whatever.  But then they have, in addition to this, state and behavior unique to the kind of card they are.  So an individual card keeps a reference to that.
<Vornicus> I need to name two things: 1. a "kind of card", like, say, "Shivan Dragon" (as opposed to "Creature - Dragon"), and 2. a specific card, like, "the Shivan Dragon that's in my hand"
<Vornicus> If it were cars, I'd have "Toyota Corolla" and "Ford Focus" as members of one class, and "The Toyota Corolla with VIN#1234567890" as a member of another class, that references the members of the first.
<Doctor_Nick> i just made a reservation for a rental car :p
<gnolam> Does it come with air conditioning and Trample?
<Chalain>  My SUV comes with Trample. And Rage: 2
<gnolam> Chalain: yeah, but you need to tap a Middle-Eastern Country for its upkeep.
* gnolam hides.
<Chalain> Cumulative Upkeep: 2 MEC
<Vornicus> So, uh
<Vornicus> After about four turns you can't keep it up any more?
<Chalain> Preeetty much.
<Chalain> It wouldn't be like that, but with the Iraq War Machine artifact in play, all OPEC-related upkeeps are doubled and cumulative.


#10 (+|-) (Rated: -93)
<Reiver> I note that a snerk from me is pretty impressive.
<Reiver> *click* *click* *click* *click* "Heh." *click* *click* *click*...
<Reiver> "What are you doing?" "Reading webcomics."
<Reiver> ¬¬
<Chalain> When you write it like that, it's like the world's least dangerous game of russian roulette.


#9 (+|-) (Rated: -86)
<Chalain> Conductance is 1/futile!


#8 (+|-) (Rated: -118)
<Chalain> HAHAHA!  Liren just got a new medication whose side effects include, and I quote, "unnaturally good mood, vomiting and dizziness."
<Chalain> So, I guess if you say "WHEE!" and "bwlarwharlrfpletch" in the same sentence, both should be attributed to the medication.


#7 (+|-) (Rated: -93)
<Chalain> Jeremiah, you're cramping my style.  I'm the one who writes forum novels.
<Jeremiah> :)
<Pi> Chalain, yours was just a short story, in this case.
<Jeremiah> Chalain just brings out the... somethingest... in me.
<Chalain> Pi: hrm, I think it still counts as a novel.  We'll promote Jer's post to "long-form work".
<Chalain> I just need to decide if I have the time and energy to go Robert Jordan on his ass.
<Schlock> Nobody's ass deserves that.


#6 (+|-) (Rated: -99)
<CxChalain> There's a lab somewhere with a broken thingie. I get to build a circuit to go around the part that's broken.
* CxChalain wishes he could get a trip to this lab....
<CxChalain> They have a 50 *TON* shaker table.
<Gojira> Every engineer's dream
<CxChalain> And on that shaker table, they have a furnace that heats up to 2000 degrees.
<Gojira> F C or K?
<CxChalain> The entire lab is in a bomb-proof room.
<CxChalain> At 2000 of them, Gojira, all you've left out is the U


#5 (+|-) (Rated: -102)
<Chalain>Okay, there's bad code and then there's evil code, and the difference is pretty much whether or not the code wears a stylish cape and has a secret lair.


#4 (+|-) (Rated: -76)
<@McMartin> This is the flip side of Hanlon's Razor.
<@McMartin> "Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice"


#3 (+|-) (Rated: -128)
<Bukkit> At least you said hello to me Keiya, not like that jerk Bugle.
<Bugle> Blink blink
<Bugle> Hi Bukkit
<Bukkit> At least you said hello to me Bugle, not like that jerk Keiya.
<Bugle> Damn, that's going to confuse me for awhile


#2 (+|-) (Rated: -98)
<PinkFreud> http://forum.watmm.com/topic/58345-ghost-sweden/
<Syloq> great, more crap I don't care about.
<Syloq> You're not allowed to post URL's anymore.


#1 (+|-) (Rated: -148)
<Akuma[DRAW]> "what is that.. another word for testicles?"